


The Slippery Slope

by WrongLeverKronk



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Quiglet, carmelita is hateful, fernald is precious and wants to protect sunny, it feels really funny to list the eagles as characters but I will give it to them, olaf and his crew are horrible, some things never change of course, this is a slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrongLeverKronk/pseuds/WrongLeverKronk
Summary: “Your worst enemies are on top of that mountain, and I’m right here...” Esmé called out into the burned remains of the VFD headquarters, “and dressed to kill.” Quigley crouched under the cluttered table and quickly put on his fencing mask.(Or: When Esmé comes to the headquarters in search of her sugar bowl and the volunteers in The Slippery Slope, she catches Quigley and leaves with him instead of falling in a hot tub)
Relationships: Count Olaf/Esmé Squalor, Duncan Quagmire & Isadora Quagmire & Quigley Quagmire, Klaus Baudelaire & Sunny Baudelaire & Violet Baudelaire, Violet Baudelaire/Quigley Quagmire
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	1. The Capture

“Your worst enemies are on top of that mountain, and I’m right here...” Esmé called out into the burned remains of the VFD headquarters, “and dressed to kill.” Quigley crouched under the cluttered table and quickly put on his fencing mask.

“Boo!” His head snapped up and he saw Esmé peering down at him. “You’re short for a volunteer, but I’ve always said reading stunts your growth.”

He crawled out from under the table and ran into the next room. “Don’t run! I just want to torture you until you give me the location of the sugar bowl,” Esmé groaned, obviously annoyed and briskly walked after him. “I don’t like chasing after people,” she warned before adding quietly to herself as she entered the room, “Not until after I catch them, that is.”

Esmé silently looked around the ash-covered skeleton of a room for a hint at where the little volunteer was hiding. She agreed to run this tiny errand in the chance that she would find her sugar bowl while she was down here. She didn’t mind returning to the top of the mountain without whoever was lurking in these cluttered remains if that meant she found the piece to complete her beloved tea set. She had no loyalties to the malicious pair that she just met and she knew Olaf was happy enough with the Baudelaire baby.

She caught sight of scuffed snow boots poking out from behind an old couch and smirked. “Oh, where are you?” She sang as she wrapped a menacing hand around the back of the couch. “Gotcha,” she whispered as she peeked around and saw the volunteer. Quigley jumped up and stepped away from her, breathing harder through his mask with increasing panic and frustration. She knew she was chasing a flustered child and this filled her with excitement because she knew she would win. He turned and tried to run but Esmé was faster. She reached him with just a few steps and wrapped a surprisingly strong arm around his waist. She lifted him off the ground with ease and he yelped with shock. She always won.

“You are coming with me, little volunteer,” She snarled, carrying him toward the entrance of the headquarters while he flailed in her arms and kicked out as much as he could. Wearing several layers kept him warm during his nights as an undercover Snow Scout but they caused him difficulty now as he tried to fight back. He groaned in defeat and carefully glanced around to see if he could spot the Baudelaires.

“Is anyone else here?” Esmé called out. 

“It’s just me,” Quigley huffed quietly, hoping he sounded annoyed enough for her to believe him.

“Then you listen to me closely and answer very carefully. Have you seen a sugar bowl in here?” She asked, giving him a jolting shake with her arm still wrapped around his torso. He shook his head and she said, “Think hard. If you have seen it, give it to me and I will let you go. I only want that sugar bowl, not you. I promise there are far less pleasant people waiting for you on top of that mountain and if I have to bring you up there, you will be sorry.”

“I don’t know of a sugar bowl.” He grunted, pushing down on her arm without any success.

“Alright then, volunteer. Have it your way. You will carry me up this mountain and you will do it without complaining or else I will to hit you with my tagliatelle grande,” She dropped him by the bottom of the slope and looked at him expectantly. “I believe I still have it up there.” She added to herself.

“What?” He asked, not recognizing the word.

“Carry me up the mountain now!” She yelled at him, pronouncing each word with growing frustration in her voice. His mouth fell open in disbelief behind his mask.

“I can’t!” He protested and gestured to the mountain. “You are bigger than me, I can’t carry you up!”

“You better figure out a way to do so or you really will be sorry,” she pointed a long threatening finger in his covered face. “Right. Now.”

Quigley panicked and looked around helplessly. He finally spotted Violet and Klaus both peeking out at him from behind the cabinets in the kitchen. They were each holding an object and looked like they were ready to charge with a bent spatula and a vase respectively. While Esmé turned away, Quigley shook his head vigorously and waved his hands, begging them to stay hidden. He couldn’t risk all of them being captured.

He bent down and picked up discarded rope. He kept one end and handed the other to Esmé. “Here, tie this around you. I can’t carry you up but we can climb together.”

“Climbing is not in,” She waved her hand at him but took the rope.

“Please? I don’t know how to carry you up a mountain by myself,” Quigley asked in a quiet voice.

“No.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “I’m going to go inside and build something to help us then. I’ll be back.”

As he turned around to walk away, Esmé called to him, “Little volunteer?”

“Snow scout,” Quigley corrected her, remembering his cover.

“Tie your end of the rope around your waist. We can’t have you running off and I don’t want to follow you around this smelly old building.”

Quigley stared at her for a moment, hoping this was a joke. When he realized she was serious, he gulped quietly and began to tie the rope around him with shaking hands. Esmé quickly became annoyed with his slow, nervous work and she rolled her eyes dramatically before approaching him. “Give that to me, I’ll do it,” she snatched the rope from his hands and tied it swiftly around his waist.

He flushed with embarrassment and anger as he looked down at the rope securing him to Esmé, feeling like someone’s house pet who couldn’t go outside on their own. He wanted to find a solution to this problem and he believed talking to the Baudelaires would be his best bet. He turned to walk away but Esmé tugged on the rope. He stopped and faced her again.

“Don’t you wander off too far,” she warned and gave the rope a sharp yank, laughing as Quigley stumbled toward her with a small, startled cry. He deeply regretted suggesting they use rope but he didn’t untie himself in fear that she would decide to follow him inside.

He nodded and walked back into the destroyed kitchen, kneeling down near the Baudelaires. “What do I do?” He whispered so Esmé could not hear him. “I can’t carry her. I’m still so tired from the first climb. I know I will fall.”

“We could run,” Klaus suggested. “All three of us.”

“That wouldn’t work. Trust me, she’s really fast and she will know if I take this off,” Quigley gestured down to the rope around his waist. He shook his head. “And besides, we have to stay here and wait for Sunny.”

“Could we trap her down here?” Violet asked. “Then you wouldn’t have to go up with her and we could continue to wait for Sunny together.”

“I’m not sure how we would,” Klaus frowned while thinking of the lay out they examined. “I didn’t see anything that we could use.”

“Neither did I. We didn’t have much time to look around before she came here and I never found any blueprints of the headquarters. I think I have to go with her,” Quigley said earnestly. “Only me. She can’t know you two are here. How can I bring her up the mountain?”

“I can attach wheel-like objects to the bottoms of her shoes and, while you two are attached with that rope, you can climb and pull her up. I know you are tired and I am so sorry. You need to go slow and take breaks. Please get her shoes for me?” Violet breathed, pulling her hair up into a ponytail with her ribbon. 

“Uhm, miss?” Quigley called out while getting back to his feet.

“It is Esmé, darling. Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor. City’s sixth most important financial advisor,” she answered from outside.

“Yes. Can you please give me your shoes?” He asked and walked outside to meet her to avoid drawing her inside.

“Honey, I appreciate your taste and I know these stilettos are to die for but they will not go well with your outfit. Ski masks are definitely not in.”

She reached out a hand to his mask but he took a quick step back. “This is a fencing mask. And I’m going to attach wheels to them so I can pull you up the frozen waterfall,” Quigley explained quickly. Esmé pondered this for a moment and she must have decided he would be doing most of the work because she handed her heels to him. 

But before she let him walk away, she tugged on the rope again. “Why are you wearing that unfashionable hockey mask?”

“It’s a fencing mask and I’m wearing it because of the snow gnats,” Quigley took another step back before adding, “it’s not very in to get stung.”

Esmé smirked. “So cheeky. Are you sure you’re not just trying to stay hidden from me, volunteer?”

“I’m not a volunteer. I’m a Snow Scout,” he tried to sound as confident as he could manage given his terrifying situation.

She raised a distrusting eyebrow at him but nodded, shooing him away with a hand. He returned to his spot and carefully handed the shoes to Violet. “She definitely knows,” he whispered, shaking.

“Just keep your mask on, don’t let her see your face,” Klaus insisted.

“Right. If they know about you, Olaf will try to keep you like he tried to keep your siblings,” Violet warned.

“I miss my normal life,” he whispered sadly to himself. Violet and Klaus both reached forward and pulled him into a hug. They understood that this malicious part of their miserable lives was very new to him. Just before joining the scouts, he was living in relatively safe secrecy at the late Montgomery Montgomery’s house. He thanked his friends as they pulled apart and he smiled fondly beneath his mask.

Within a few minutes, Violet attached several items to the bottom of the shoes and making them look like funny roller blades made of doorknobs, brass ball bearings, bottoms of rolling chairs, and rounded pieces of broken bottles. They were attached to the shoes with pieces of violin string.

“I really don’t like this,” Violet whispered, pulling her ribbon out of her hair. “It doesn’t feel right to send you up alone.”

“You aren’t sending me anywhere. I just got caught,” he shrugged. Violet frowned at this but Quigley continued, “It’ll be okay, trust me. And I won’t be alone, I will have Sunny with me. We can both be a spy.”

“Please be careful,” Violet reached out from her hiding place and touched Quigley’s wrist. She slid her hand down to his hand and carefully placed her ribbon in it. “Bring it back to me.”

Quigley blushed deeply as she tied the ribbon around his wrist and he was thankful the Baudelaires couldn’t see his face. He then stood up and brought the shoes back to Esmé. As she put them on, she noticed the ribbon and tisked at him. “I see you are trying to add color to your drab wardrobe and I do appreciate the effort but that is not the way to do it.” She reached forward to take the ribbon and smirked as Quigley quickly pulled his arm away from her.

“Let’s go,” he muttered. Esmé tied her end of the rope around her waist and skated alongside Quigley to the base of the waterfall. He took a deep breath and stuck the forked toe of his boot into the ice just like he did earlier with Violet.

This climb was much slower because Quigley was still exhausted after his first climb. He had to stop often but Esmé reached forward and pinched his arms until he started climbing again. She didn’t even let him stop and rest at the ledge.

~~~~

“What do we do?” Violet cried out as soon as she knew Esmé would not be able to hear her. “We have to go save both of them now!”

“I know, I know,” Klaus was terrified. He watched as Quigley slowly reach the top of the waterfall with Esmé tied to him. He was worried throughout their journey that they would both fall and he hid his eyes behind his hands several times.

“Should we climb up there now?” Violet asked searching around for forks to attach to Klaus’s shoes. “We will need to bring stuff to defend ourselves.” She absently tied her hair up with her spare ribbon and began looking around the kitchen.

Klaus was crying softly while searching for items they could use to scare off Olaf, Esmé, and their untalented troupe. The stress of his baby sister missing, his new friend missing, and the crushing realization that one of their parents really did not survive the fire finally hit him and shook him to his core.

“Klaus?” Violet asked after noticing her brother’s grief. “What is it?”

“They really are gone,” he whispered and Violet knew to whom he was referring. “Both of them. And Sunny. And Quigley. And Duncan and Isadora and Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine and Hector. I don’t think I can take any more loss.” 

Violet pulled him into a tight hug. “You don’t have to. We will fix this and we will get them both back safely, I promise. And then we will find our friends. We know they are safe and that is what matters the most, right?” She added in a soft whisper, “I’m also upset about mom and dad. I miss them more than I can explain and I am so disappointed that they aren’t here.”

“I really believed they would be,” Klaus sobbed.

“Me too,” Violet admitted.

The children cried together for a few moments longer before Klaus nodded against her shoulder, sniffling. She pulled back, leaving her hands on his arms and giving him her bravest smile despite the tears running down her cheeks. “Our family is waiting for us. Let’s get to work.”

Klaus agreed with her.


	2. The Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danger awaits Quigley as he and Esmé reach the top of the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back :) I hope you enjoy this next chapter

As they reached the top, Quigley dropped to his knees and panted deeply, struggling to catch his breath through his fencing mask. This wasn’t a problem for long because Esmé grabbed the back of his coat collar and dragged him nearer to Olaf and the remainder of their troupe with remarkable ease.

“Look what I have here, it’s a volunteer!” Esme laughed proudly and held Quigley firmly in place, sitting up on his knees. He felt the ice cold snow become water under his legs and seep through his pants.

“I’m not a volunteer. I’m just a Snow Scout,” he protested and tried to squirm out of Esmé’s tight grip on his coat but it was half-hearted due to his exhaustion. “I wandered a bit from my troop when you found me. But they will be looking for me and-” He quickly froze as Esmé grabbed the top of his mask and pulled.

Olaf frowned and Esmé gasped when they saw his face. “Didn’t you float off in a bunch of balloons?” She asked.

Quigley frowned at her but did not respond.

Olaf stepped nearer and bent forwards until his face was a mere 3 inches from Quigley’s face. “No,” he growled, reaching out with his long fingers and pulling Quigley’s hat off of his head. Quigley’s hair fell into his face and he quickly blew it over to the side. “You must be the other one.”

Quigley drew his eyebrows together worriedly. He didn’t know this man but he was afraid of the way he was looking at him. He felt ashamed that he let these people see his face. He was able to stay hidden in the shadows of this organization for so long and now here he was, mask-less in front of some of the worst people.

“Sheesh, some days you just can’t catch a break,” Esmé rolled her eyes. 

“I heard you died. Welcome back to the land of the living, Quigley.” Olaf sneered before standing up straight and addressing Esmé. “No darling, this is good! Now we can get our hands on those sapphires. The Baudelaire and Quagmire fortunes are once again in my clutches.”

“Fortune?” Quigley asked before realizing that explanation didn’t matter. “You need to let me go, I’m-“

“You are pretty noisy for a dead kid,” Olaf grumbled and walked away, dropping Quigley’s hat into the snow.

Quigley reached for his hat but Esmé hastily grabbed his collar and yanked him back so he was sitting down on his knees. He glared at her but she only laughed. “So feisty, how adorable. Well we will just have to fix that.”

Quigley ignored her chide and quickly got to work untying his end of the rope around his waist. He saw Esmé doing the same thing before removing the trinkets from the bottoms of her shoes.

“What is this?” a voice snapped, drawing everyone’s attention. Quigley saw the Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard that he saw earlier that day from behind a rock with Violet. He remembers Sunny told them these people were the arsonists who burned down the VFD headquarters and they are planning on kidnapping several children. He felt a shiver travel down his spine and knew it was only partially due to the cold hitting his ears and seeping into his knees.

“I’m a Snow Scout,” Quigley breathed, the air felt still around him and his fear was nearly suffocating. The Man with a Beard but No Hair ignored him and gestured for Esmé to answer.

“This is Quigley Quagmire. I found him hiding in the burned remains of the VFD headquarters.” She said before adding bitterly, “And for the record, I did not see the sugar bowl.”

“That’s impossible,” the Man frowned deeply.

“No, I really didn’t see the sugar bowl. It must be somewhere else,” Esmé said hastily.

“Are you sure he isn’t the other Quagmire boy?” the Man asked. Esmé and Olaf both nodded.

“You are supposed to be dead,” the Woman with Hair but No Beard addressed Quigley coolly. “We searched for a survivor before setting that fire. Where have you been hiding?”

“I wasn’t hiding. I’m a Snow Scout and my troop is down there,” Quigley tried again, barely above a whisper. He wanted to turn around to look for Sunny but he was too afraid to move in the presence of the evil pair.

“I am sure of who he is,” Esmé waved her hand at Quigley, in an attempt to shush him.

“As am I. Just look at those couple of freckles on his cheek. His brother does not have those,” Olaf confirmed casually. Quigley frowned with confusion at that, unsure why Olaf knew this intricate detail about his family as though he has received baby pictures of the triplets since their first day. “He is Quigley Quagmire.”

“Are you lying to us?” The Man asked Quigley in a dangerous voice and he thought it was best to be silent now.

“So I suppose there was a survivor after all.” The Woman frowned with disappointment.

“Not for long,” the Man warned and Quigley’s heart began racing. The Man turned back towards Esmé. “Congratulations on finding this little trouble-maker. You have done well and Olaf can certainly learn from you.” Olaf glared heavily at that. “We can’t have people hearing about a survivor. That would create mass chaos. Perhaps now all of our work in Peru wasn’t wasted after all.”

Quigley remembered his father coming back home with a limp that he claimed was from breaking out of prison in Peru. That was the night they died and the last night he saw any of his family. He assumed his father was joking but now he wasn’t sure. “Were my parents were in Peru?” He asked.

The Man ignored him and continued, turning to Olaf now. “You should thank all of us. Ms. Squalor is the only reason you have the boy now and we worked so hard to dispose of the parents here in the states. While on your own, you managed to lose-“

“‘Dispose’ of them? Did you kill my family?” Quigley gasped.

“You will not interrupt me again,” the Man warned but Quigley did not hear him over the swarming panic that filled his head and chest.

“You killed my mom and dad? Why would you-” is as far as he got before the Man reached out and slapped him across the face. The pop echoed in the silent mountain and the two white-faced women jumped in horror. Quigley let out a cry before he was able to stop himself and he bit his lower lip to avoid making further noises. His eyes filled with tears but he pleaded with himself to not actually cry in front of these people. The Man then grabbed Quigley’s face by his chin and yanked him forward so we was sitting up on his knees and looking him in the face. The man bent nearer and waited.

No matter how firmly Quigley pleaded with himself, a tear spilled over his cheek from fear and pain and the overwhelming sadness. The Man nodded, satisfied. He let go of Quigley’s face and pushed him back so he was sitting down on his knees once again. “Not another word from you or we will have to find another way to shut you up,” he warned.

“Like dipping his head in that ice hole over there and then watching him freeze to death like a little orphan popsicle,” Esmé growled, tipping her head toward the large hole the hook-handed man made in the ice to catch fish. She moved toward him before adding, “It is a shame you don’t know anything about my sugar bowl. We could have avoided all of this.”

Quigley lowered his head and stared at his hands in front of him, refusing to speak again. He had a sudden realization that he was surrounded by murderers who would be thrilled to see him dead and he didn’t want to speed up that process.

“Now. It won’t be long before those children get here. We should get everything ready,” the Man declared, clapping his hands. 

“First, we need to take care of this one. Tie him up and put him in with the Baudelaire until we decide what to do with them,” the Woman with Hair but No Beard huffed and waved toward Quigley. Esmé nodded and walked toward the car.

Quigley didn’t want to be tied up or shoved in a small bird cage, even if it was one that came with a small friend already inside. He opened his mouth to protest this idea but Esmé reappeared from the trunk with thick tape and she picked up the rope discarded on the ground.

“Last chance,” she hissed quietly to him. “Sugar bowl?” Quigley shook his head in response and her frown deepened.

“Please don’t-” he let out a soft whine as she ripped off a piece of tape and covered his mouth with it, digging her fingers roughly into his cheek where he was slapped. He flinched back and closed his eyes until she let go of his face.

“This will shut you up,” she snarled loudly and tied his hands behind his back. “Now, you are going to behave like a good little boy while we plot exactly how to collect your fortune and dispose of you.”

At that, he tried thrashing around for a moment until the hook-handed man stood menacingly over him and he stopped moving, watching the sharp hooks above his face in horror. “That’s not behaving good at all,” he tisked. He slid his arms under Quigley’s armpits and carefully lifted him straight up off of the ground, letting his legs dangle as he brought him over to the tarp-covered bird cage.

Quigley felt helpless suspended in air without the use of his hands and he began to cry softly. For reasons he didn’t understand, the hook-handed man’s expression softened significantly. He opened his mouth to whisper something to Quigley but was interrupted by Esmé groaning loudly.

“Just one second, Hooky,” she called while turning to pick something up from the ground. She then walked over to the pair and aggressively shoved Quigley’s fencing mask down over his head. Even though it was twisted in a way that he could only barely see out of one eye, she nodded proudly. “I am tired of seeing those tears,” she muttered and walked away.

The hook-handed man lowered Quigley to the ground and leaned forward while whispering, “it’ll be okay. You will be okay,” and gently fixing his mask so he could see comfortably out of both eyes. He then opened the cage door and guided him to it while Sunny stood up and moved to one side of the cage to make more room. Without the aid of his hands, Quigley had to crawl and twist awkwardly until he finally sat next to Sunny with his knees pressed against his chest. 

Before darkness blanketed them, Quigley saw Sunny Baudelaire smile sympathetically at him. She said “Ilcomen” but he had no idea what that meant. The hook-handed man locked the cage and replaced the tarp.

“Now stay in there and we don’t want to hear any noise out of either of you!” They heard the hook-handed man shout theatrically. 

~~~

“Shh, Klaus, do you hear that?” Violet stopped while they were shuffling through burned boxes for anything useful in the headquarter remains. They didn’t find anything in their previous three searches and unfortunately their current search had similar results. They froze and listened.

“-Jumping, kept, limited-“

Klaus put back an old, cracked record and groaned. “It’s the Snow Scouts, I hear their chanting. They must be going up the mountain now.”

“Let’s join them. Do you see any more masks like the one that Quigley wore?”

“Vi, joining the Snow Scouts means we would walk right into a trap. Is this the best plan?”

“Yes I believe so,” Violet nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe we can convince the scouts to have their celebration somewhere else. And if we can’t, at least we will have a group to blend in with while we rescue Sunny and Quigley.”

“Like camouflage?” Klaus asked. 

“Exactly like camouflage,” Violet smirked.

“This isn’t your worst plan,” Klaus muttered and Violet gave him a gentle, playful shove.

“Come on, Quigley did say there were more masks with the troop. Let’s go see them now.”

Klaus grinned, feeling slightly excited to be in disguise once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how a lot of Sunny's "babble" in the books was a twist on a word in a foreign language. So I definitely played with that here. <3


	3. Over the Cliff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quigley and Sunny attempt to rectify their current situation and Violet and Klaus plan a rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Welcome back, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Quigley spent several minutes silently crying with his covered face buried in his knees and an uncomfortable ache in his shoulders. Sunny patted and tugged on his arms several times, which he believed was her attempt at comforting him. However, the combination of being blinded and tied up in the cramped bird cage alongside his fear of being murdered paralyzed him.

His panic eventually dissipated and he had the opportunity to compose himself. He listened to the adults talking several feet away while he absently fiddled with the ribbon on his wrist behind his back. The touch of the ribbon soothed him and listening to the adults arguing helped him focus. They planned on kidnapping the group of Snow Scouts and murdering their parents to inherit several fortunes and several personal slaves.

Sunny tugged on his arm again and with a clearer head, he finally understood what she wanted. He shifted uncomfortably and Sunny felt around until she found his hands in the dark. She grinned excitedly before getting to work biting at the ropes. While doing this, she felt the velvet ribbon around his wrist and wondered if it belonged to her sister.

As the rope fell to the bottom of the bird cage, Quigley hugged her in the dark to show his appreciation and he received a pat on the back from Sunny. He removed his fencing mask and tore the tape off of his mouth, crumbling it into his pocket and taking a few deep breaths.

“Please forgive me for being so upset,” he whispered to Sunny, hoping she could understand him. “I’m not used to being tied up or captured and it scares me a lot. I guess I am really terrible at hiding and I know my brother and sister would be so annoyed with me if they knew that woman found me under a table so quickly.” He sighed to himself, thinking of his siblings chastising him for his horrible attempts at hide-and-seek. They claimed it wasn’t fun to find someone right away and they always recommended playing other games instead. That’s how he got really good at climbing trees and playing cards. “I really messed up today and now these dreadful people know that I am still alive. I am afraid and I don’t know what to do. And I think they murdered my parents,” Quigley’s voice cracked during this last part and Sunny wrapped her arms around him and kissed his temple lovingly. He smiled and whispered, “Thank you for that and for your help. We will get out of here, I promise.”

“Armana?” Sunny asked and touched the ribbon on his wrist. 

Quigley didn’t understand this word either but he explained it anyway. “This is from your sister. She wishes she was here with you now. Well, maybe not in here but definitely up here with you.” Sunny nodded in the darkness. She wished she was with her siblings too. She was both relieved and worried when she heard Esmé return to the mountain with someone that wasn’t her brother or sister.

“Do you still have the lock pick she gave you when we came up here earlier?” He held out a hand and Sunny placed the cold metal into it. “Thank you so much,” he breathed. “You saved us both.”

Sunny really liked him.

Quigley worked in silence and in darkness and this gave them both the opportunity to listen to the conversation outside.

“Your obsession with the Baudelaires is a disgrace,” said the Woman with Hair but No Beard. Quigley and Sunny listened closer at the mention of her name.

“It has led to your defeat and humiliation,” said the Man with a Beard but No Hair. 

“That’s all in the past. The Baudelaires are dead to me.” Olaf replied.

“Not all of them.” Quigley and Sunny tensed up along with the silence that followed this statement. She placed her hand on his shoulder worriedly and his panic began to return.

“But if I kill the baby, then I’ll never get the Baudelaire fortune.” Olaf whined. 

Sunny’s hand tightened on Quigley’s shoulder, urging him to hurry up. He was having difficulty with the lock pick and he quickly became frustrated. He read about lock picks several weeks ago while staying in the reptile house but he never used one himself and attempting it for the first time in the dark and backwards made it impossible. He deeply wished Violet was here and he continued to try as the frightening pair chastised Olaf further.

“Throw Sunny Baudelaire off that cliff!” The Woman demanded. “Quigley Quagmire, too. You don’t need either of them.”

“Be a man and slay those children, putz,” the Man said with disgust.

As Olaf began arguing with his troupe who was threatening to leave, the tarp suddenly lifted from one side of the cage. Quigley gasped and pressed himself against the opposite side of the cage. He couldn’t hide the fact that they were planning an escape as he held the lock pick in one untied hand and his other arm was thrown protectively in front of Sunny. The children waited, holding their breath, for the hook-handed man to call everyone over to see what they were doing. But he never did. 

He pressed a hook against his lips signaling for them to keep quiet as he silently unlocked and opened the cage door. He waved them out and motioned for them to hide behind the nearby rocks. Safely hidden, Quigley shot a confused expression at Sunny but she simply smiled at him.

“I don’t need any of them. I’m an individual practitioner, and I can throw two brats off a mountain on my own!” Quigley grabbed Sunny’s hand and they shared a worried look. Olaf would definitely notice he was holding an empty cage if he picked it up.

“You’re not on your own, boss. You’ve still got me,” the hook-handed man said, still standing near them. They heard him pick up the cage and groan with pretend struggle as he lifted an empty cage that should have two children in it.

He threw the cage over the cliff, standing only a few feet away from the children. They held their breath and watched the cage plummet to the ground while Olaf cried out, “My fortune!”

Quigley held Sunny close to him as they heard the cage crash into the ground. Sunny knew this was more for his comfort than her own and she allowed it. They sat like that, cuddled to each other, for several minutes. Sunny felt warm and hopeful for the first time since traveling up this mountain and Quigley couldn’t help but to think that it could have been them in that cage hitting the ground at the bottom of the mountain. This idea frightened him and he closed his eyes before taking several deep breaths.

After he opened his eyes again, he suddenly felt like he could sleep for three days straight. His adrenaline was quickly declining and he felt the weight of the 2 long climbs he performed and the overwhelming stress draining his consciousness.

Sunny reached up and softly grazed his cheek that was still red and slightly bruised by his ear. She frowned at him with her eyebrows drawn together to show her concern. He just shrugged and laid his head back against the rock. “Sunny, I need to rest my eyes for just a minute. Is that okay?” Without waiting for an answer, he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

Sunny didn’t like the idea of him sleeping and tried poking his arm. This was a fruitless effort though and he slipped into an uncomfortable sleep.

~~~

“Oh lookie here, the cakesniffers have returned. What joy,” Carmelita rolled her eyes as the Baudelaires met the group again at the mouth of the cave.

“Hello,” Violet smiled politely at Brucie. “May we please take you up on your offer and join your troop for the time being?”

“You can’t just join the troop in the middle of our hike!” Carmelita yelled at them, stomping her foot.

“Please?” Klaus asked. “We have always had a great interest in the Snow Scouts and you appear to be a great troop to join.”

“Of course we do and that is because we are the best group,” Carmelita snapped.

“You are!” Violet winced through her lies. “The best group in the world.”

“The very best!” Klaus parroted with great difficulty.

“Well, it seems wrong to leave you two young children here in the cold all alone. So I guess you can join us on our way to the top of the mountain,” Bruce shrugged.

“What if we celebrated false spring somewhere other than the top of that mountain?” Violet suggested and the troop gasped. 

“I agree!” Klaus nodded vigorously. “This year is special and we should celebrate somewhere new.”

“Why is this year special?” A scout asked.

“Why should we change anything at all?” Carmelita growled. “Every year we go up to the top of the mountain and I am crowned False Spring Queen and that is exactly what we will do right now!”

“But we can celebrate you being the False Spring Queen somewhere new,” Violet tried again.

“No!” Carmelita shrieked and the scouts agreed silently.

Violet and Klaus sighed in defeat and turned back to Brucie. “Do you have any extra masks for us to wear? We would very much like to avoid the snow gnats,” Klaus muttered.

“Only a cakesniffer would wear one of those ugly masks. I would never. My face is far too adorable to cover up, don’t you all agree?” Carmelita asked the troop and they all nodded in agreement. The Baudelaires rolled their eyes.

“Yes, I have them right here.” Bruce removed the backpack she was wearing and dug out two masks for the Baudelaires. They thanked her sincerely and joined the troop in the back. The journey up the mountain was insufferable for the Baudelaires having to listen to Carmelita sing and yell the entire way there but they thought of Sunny and Quigley and tried to remain focused and hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Quigley and Sunny being friends! And also, lets talk about how Quigley hid under a table 2x in the show. Poor bab


	4. The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baudelaires arrive to the top of the mountain with the Snow Scouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter, lovelies! Please enjoy!

“Those Scouts are almost here!” Esmé shrieked excitedly. Her loud exclamation startled Quigley awake and he quickly sat up. His mind was fogged with confusion and he rubbed his eyes intently with the backs of his hands. When he looked out at the darkened sky, he remembered where he was and frowned.

Sunny smiled with relief when she saw he was conscious again and she scooted closer to him.

“It’s so cold,” Quigley whispered to Sunny, his voice thick with sleepiness. He saw his breath become a cloud in front of him and he shivered. His teeth tried to chatter but he kept his jaw shut tight to avoid the noise. Sunny nodded in agreement and held him tightly while he said, “We have to find a way out of here.”

“-pretty, quarantined, recent, scheduled-” they heard the chanting in the distance and the two gasped to each other. The Snow Scouts were getting closer and they would soon fall right into the evil trap. Quigley stood up slowly, now realizing the heavy numbness in his arms and legs. Sunny held onto his leg behind him as he peeked out from behind the rock. He saw Olaf and Esmé talking excitedly but he couldn’t see the Man or Woman. Or the hook-handed man.

“Be careful,” Quigley heard a sharp warning behind him and quickly spun around with a gasp, accidentally knocking Sunny to the ground. The hook-handed man was suddenly crouched behind the rock with them, once again pressing his hook against his lips and signaling for the children to stay quiet. Quigley quickly bent down and picked up Sunny, holding her close to his chest. She recognized the apology and patted his arm.

“You two should stay right here for just a couple more minutes, okay?” The hook-handed man pleaded in a hushed voice. “Do not watch this next part. Just wait here and close your eyes for a little while longer. Then we will leave and you two can get away from all of this safely.”

Quigley looked at Sunny and then back at the man in front of them. “Why?” He whispered hoarsely.

“Because it is bad and you shouldn’t see it,” he responded, standing back up and frowning at the children in front of him.

Quigley shook his head and tried to explain himself, “Why are you helping us?”

“Oh,” he frowned and thought about his answer for a moment. “Because you need me to.” He clicked his hooks at the two and then turned around and left them.

“What should we do?” Quigley asked, settling back down on the ground and holding Sunny in his lap. She shrugged, knowing they were stuck between two options and the decision was difficult to make. Should they help the scouts or stay hidden like the hook-handed man requested. “What would your siblings do?”

“Ayudar,” she nodded firmly. Quigley frowned at her and cocked his head slightly to the side in confusion. “Hilfe,” she tried again.

Quigley understood this time and began to chew on his lower lip. He knew the Baudelaires would help the scouts in any way they could. Sunny mimicked his action and Quigley raised his eyebrows at Sunny. She copied this motion as well and Quigley's face broke out into a smile. Both children giggled quietly to themselves behind their hands, enjoying their small inside joke before making a final decision.

~~~

“Klaus,” Violet whispered to her brother as they were reaching the peak. “I don’t know what we will see up here but we need to stay focused, okay?”

Klaus nodded solemnly. “Yes, I agree. Stay focused and find Sunny and Quigley.”

“That’s right. I know we can still save them.”

“Brucie, those cakesniffers are telling secrets to each other but this isn’t secret-telling time, this is chanting time,” Carmelita whined and Bruce shot the Baudelaires a warning look, clearly not wanting to hear about this issue any further.

They both blushed behind their masks and lowered their heads, joining in on the chanting and joining hands to remind the other that they were not alone and they would be together with their sister and friend again very soon. 

~~~

“-every afternoon, every night, and all day long!” The scouts arrived at the top of the mountain and finished their chanting mostly in unison. Quigley peeked out from behind the rock again, hoping to see the Baudelaires. Several of the scouts were huddled together and wearing masks so he was unable to spot them before he turned back to Sunny and shrugged in defeat.

“Come forward, Snow Scouts! Welcome to the party!” Esmé cried and waved the children toward the tarp in the center of the mountain.

“Don’t do it!” Violet yelled and Quigley’s heart quickened with excitement, recognizing her voice.

“Who said that?” Olaf asked, frowning at the troop.

“We should all stay right here and celebrate!” Klaus chimed in. Sunny smiled brightly and almost clapped, knowing both of her siblings were here with her again.

“It’s better in the middle of the mountain. That is where the spring is the most false,” Esmé said in a matter-of-fact voice and the Baudelaire and Quagmire children all rolled their eyes in unison. “Now come forward. We want to welcome all of you!”

“It’s a trap!” Violet shouted.

“That child is a liar,” Olaf spat. “Now step forward, all of you! We want to throw you a party!”

Violet and Klaus both removed their masks. Esmé groaned in frustration but Olaf smiled brightly. “My fortune!” He cried with genuine excitement and relief. This would have worried the Baudelaires if they heard him but were focused on stopping the active kidnapping in front of them.

They ignored Olaf and Esmé and waved their arms in the air to address the scouts. “Please listen to us! These bad people plan to kidnap all of you and murder your families!” The troop erupted with panicked chattering.

“Please believe us!” Klaus shouted. “We need to turn around and get off of this mountain now!”

“You are just jealous that I will be crowned False Spring Queen instead of you!” Carmelita stomped her foot. “And you are those ugly orphan cakesniffers from school, I knew it! You were expelled because you were too dumb!”

“We were not expelled-” Klaus started before being interrupted by Esmé.

“This adorable little girl is right, those children are orphans and they are lying to you. They don’t want you to have a celebration because they can’t have one themselves.”

“That is not-!” Violet cried.

“That’s enough,” the Woman with Hair but No Beard said viciously, cutting off Violet’s protest. She and the Man with a Beard but No Hair appeared from the tent silently. “Now everyone will step forward to the center of the mountain right now.”

The troop looked at one another anxiously but moved forward.

“This isn’t working,” Klaus said to Violet angrily.

“We cannot help them if they will not listen to us,” she answered before turning to face Olaf and Esmé. She got their attention over the bustling confusion of the scouts and demanded, “Where are Sunny and Quigley?”

“Sunny Baudelaire and Quigley Quagmire are dead,” the Man with a Beard but No Hair declared and Klaus gasped. 

“No,” Violet whispered, refusing to believe what she was told. “No!” She screamed it this time and felt her world crashing around her. She failed her mother and father and brother. She failed her sister and her friend. She knew it was her job to look after her family and she failed. Tears filled her eyes and grief struck her heart.

“Yes, my favorite henchperson just threw the both of them off the cliff not a moment ago,” Olaf shrugged casually.

“I’m your favorite?” Fernald asked quietly with sincere fondness in his eyes.

“I am surprised you didn’t see them come crashing down on your way up the mountain,” Olaf laughed.

Klaus couldn’t understand why Olaf could be so nonchalant and uncaring regarding the deaths of a toddler and a child and he didn’t know why the hook-handed man acted like being favorited by Olaf was appropriate to address in front of two people who just received dreadful news. He was filled with hatred and anger and he threw himself forward at Fernald, trying to hit him. He wanted this man to feel the suffering that plagued him and his sister that very moment. Fernald pushed him away carelessly.

~~~

“We have to tell them,” Quigley whispered hurriedly to Sunny and made to walk into the clearing but she grabbed his wrist and shook her head firmly. “Sunny please, they need to know we are still here. Can’t you hear them out there?”

“Spayt,” Sunny whispered back but Quigley couldn’t understand her and a tear fell down his cheek as he heard his friends crying out in anger and grief. Sunny shook her head and continued to listen carefully.

~~~

“Violet, I did have a feeling that you were near. I thought I recognized your little ribbon on that boy we threw off the cliff but I wasn’t entirely sure,” Esmé boasted while stepping around the troop and toward the Baudelaires. “Was that your boyfriend?”

“You are a monster!” Violet screamed at her with tears running down her face.

“That is enough,” the Man with a Beard but No Hair declared before pulling out a mysterious tube and putting it to his mouth. He blew and they all heard a slight high pitch whistle. This was followed by a distant shriek from the sky and they looked up to see a group of eagles quickly approaching.

“Please listen to us, it’s almost too late!” Klaus yelled at the scouts while angrily wiping his eyes. “Please, you all have to move right now!” He found it very difficult to continue to offer help after hearing about the deaths of their sister and friend but he tried to do this for the scouts. For their parents. For Quigley and Sunny.

The scouts did not move though and soon the eagles were upon them. The large birds grabbed the ropes lining the ends of the tarp and lifted the children up into the air. They flew away and Violet noticed it was similar to the storks carrying babies she had seen in cartoons. Except for the fact that the scouts were screaming and begging for help.

Violet covered her mouth with her hands and Klaus screamed helplessly after them. Quigley was unable to move as he watched in horrified silence and Sunny bowed her head for a moment in grief. They understood why the hook-handed man told them to close their eyes. No one should ever have to see something like this.

“They are ours now,” the Man stated before waving at the Baudelaires. “And you children are no longer needed.” He and the Woman argued with Olaf for a moment before taking his car and driving away.

~~~

As the car exited the peak of the mountain, Sunny tugged on Quigley’s arm and motioned him to silently follow her out from behind their rock. He obeyed in a dazed shock as he thought only about the children suspended in the air and trapped in the tarp. He remembered his siblings were somewhere in the air too and he hoped they were not suffering like the scouts were.

Quigley crouched behind Sunny and slowly followed her to hide behind another rock. They slowly made their way around the peak until their hiding place was across from the Baudelaires. Olaf was arguing with Esmé about whether or not Carmelita was welcome to join them and Sunny found it was a perfect opportunity to quickly poke her head out and wave at her siblings. She saw their eyebrows rise in surprise and their faces light up with pure relief. Quigley followed Sunny’s example and also poked his head out.

Violet grinned brightly at him and he felt butterflies in his stomach.

Olaf turned back to the Baudelaires and threatened that he only needed one of them alive. Sunny spotted a toboggan and smiled with excitement. She always wanted to ride on one of these things. She grabbed Quigley’s hand and ran from behind the rock toward the toboggan. She sat on it and pointed toward the edge of the cliff, leading to the frozen waterfall. Quigley began pushing the toboggan and the sudden noise and movement startled Olaf and Esmé. When they spotted the two children that they thought were at the bottom of the cliff, Olaf glared daggers at Fernald and Esmé groaned in frustration.

“Komm,” Sunny instructed to her siblings and the remaining Baudelaires ran to them. Klaus sat down on the toboggan in front of Sunny.

“Are you okay?” Violet asked Quigley while she was moving to sit on the toboggan. She knew this was not the best time to ask but she was so excited to see them and she was unable to help herself. She also noticed his shivering and his bruised cheek and worry gnawed at her. 

She then noticed he was smiling at her and she blushed.

“I am now,” he promised. Violet sat on the toboggan behind Sunny and Quigley pushed the toboggan further toward the cliff. 

“Uhm Vi, is this a good idea?” Klaus yelled back. His fear of heights worsened significantly following his near-death experience at Aunt Josephine’s house during the hurricane and his terrifying fall through the ersatz elevator.

Before Violet could answer, Esmé lunged forward and grabbed a handful of Quigley’s hair. He screamed as she dragged him away from the toboggan. “Someone will die going over that cliff today and I choose you, little orphan!” She shrieked. Carmelita laughed from the side and Olaf smirked, impressed with his girlfriend’s intensity.

Sunny moved quickly, reaching up and biting Esmé’s hand. She screeched and let go of Quigley, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip away and reach the edge of the cliff with the toboggan. He made a mental note to thank Sunny for saving his life again as soon as they were safe.

Just before tipping over the edge, Quigley sat down behind Violet and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. The children waited in anticipation for the dreadful drop in their stomachs but they couldn’t be more satisfied with their situation. They were all back together again.

Filled with the rush of adrenaline and hope, Violet leaned back and kissed Quigley on the cheek. He blushed deeply and couldn’t help but to grin.

“For good luck,” She grinned back and the toboggan rushed down the slope.

The luck wore off quickly because not five minutes later, Quigley was knocked from the toboggan by a low-hanging tree branch that he was unable to dodge. He called out to his friends but knew he would see them again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to leaves kudos or a comment and I hope you have a lovely day/night! <3


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